Last week, the Chicago Tribune ran a piece in which writer Mark Yost  challenged the “role model” sobriquet that has been bestowed upon local hero Derrick Rose. For the few of you who may be unfamiliar, Rose is a Chicago native and the star of the exciting young Chicago Bulls roster that made it to the third round of the NBA playoffs last year. Yost has two primary issues with the glorification of the ball player’s career: the improbability that children who look up to Rose can join him in the ranks of professional athletes and the allegations that the hoop star’s SAT scores were falsified.

The concept of athletes/entertainers as heroes has long since been debated and for good reason. As Yost says, by placing such value on careers that can only be attained by such a slim percentage of those who would like to have them, we can very well do kids a disservice. He mentions another South Side hero-President Barack Obama- as having worn titles that we should encourage children to peruse instead: lawyer, community organizer, professor. Yes, the path to attempting Obamahood is more likely to be paved with the pursuit of academic excellence and intellectual achievement than one’s efforts to become America’s next top NBA star. I’d wager that a child who puts his all into becoming a lawyer is more likely to have a solid career than a kid who places so much of his energy into playing sports that he completely misses out on the education offered at his own school (as Rose seems to have done at Beasley, at Simeon and at the University of Memphis, where he completed only one year of college before entering the draft). Thus, I do agree with Yost’s assertion that we keep children interested in careers that are more attainable than the league.

However, the exclusiveness of the NBA and Rose’s possible participation in falsifying academic documents do not disqualify him as a role model for youth and even adult who, for whatever reason, take their cues on how to behave from celebrities. Derrick Rose has stated that he fully intends to play his entire career in his hometown because the city needs something to brag about.  While many players have been quite public about their financial demands or in flaunting their material goods, the 23-year old recently told ESPN Magazine “I think I live a humble life. Of course, I know I’ll be able to afford whatever I want, but other than that, there aren’t too many things that excite me. Me winning is one of the things. Me being around my family, that’s another. Money, that’s the last thing I think about.” In post-game interviews, he routinely showers praise on his teammates even on nights when he’s scored 30 points by himself.

There’s more. Last year, Rose was asked if he’s still connected to the tough Englewood area where he grew up: “If someone in the neighborhood needs something, I’m only a phone call away. That means anything: getting some kid some book bags, [going to] funerals, whatever it is, I’m going to be there.” He was one of the first to reach out to formerly-homeless rookie Jimmy Butler and welcome him to the Bulls. Rose has never made headlines for fighting in the club, shoving on a woman, getting pulled over with a gun in his car… realize it’s quite fair to ask “Do we really gotta give MFs credit for doing the right thing”; however, its worth noting that for all the ball players who get negative press for illegal/”immoral” behavior, Rose is constantly mentioned as being a stand-up guy. As social media gives athletes all the room in the world to display their arrogance and self-importance, this kid is simply likable and quiet and serious about his work…this means more today than ever before, quite frankly.

While Rose isn’t a exactly a scholar and has an unfortunate academic scandal in his recent past, he is a team player, a class act and extremely humble. Juxtapose his commitment to the Bulls and his hometown with LeBron James’ very public decision to end up on a team that would garner him a championship ring, despite how many loyal fans and teammates may be affected or hurt by his choice. The  reputation that James has had in the aftermath of the regrettable “Decision” media blitz may be a bit unfair, but damn if Rose’s likable personality, humility and brotherly nature isn’t a refreshing change of pace in an era that sees NBA players making their self-importance more public than ever before. He gives Chicago a reason to smile on and off the court and for that, I think he’s a darn fine example for our youth.

Explain to your children that lying is bad and that if Rose was aware that grades were falsified on his behalf, he was wrong. Explain that even people we may admire make mistakes and that we can continue to appreciate the good about them without forgetting to hold them accountable for wrongdoing. Let it be known that the great role model takeaways from Rose are his commitment to excellence in his chosen field and his sense of loyalty and teamwork.

In an era in which a Crip can dance on Ellen and talk about coaching their children’s football games, and an ex-convict who has and incredibly hard time staying out of jail can become the poster child for good Black fatherhood on a reality show, role models come in many different forms. I definitely can’t co-sign everyone who has been described as such, but I think Rose has a lot of good in him that we should highlight for the kids who are going to look up to him regardless of what we say. Frankly, Mark Yost (surprise, surprise: he’s a privileged White dude…because you know how good those guys are at helping Black kids get it together) has a really myopic view of what it means to be a hero to kids and how we should frame that. Rose is a role model, period.

Okay, so I really do miss this site. I can’t believe Hermain Cain has came and went and we never got to talk about it! Well, it’s not too late! Largely because Ishmael Reed wrote a mind-blowing defense of the former pseudo-Presidential hopeful, who he suggests may have been “hi-tech lynched by media hypocrites”. You can’t make this sh!t up, kids:

“ Cain wasn’t even allowed the “one free grope” rule that Ann Coulter says Gloria Steinem established for Bill Clinton. Nor was Cain defended by Anita Hill who said on national television that the “explicit details of “Clinton’s relationship with Monica shouldn’t be revealed, this after she had put C. Thomas’s member up for public auction and became a millionaire.”

I have never lost all respect for someone as quickly as I did after reading that Anita Hill jab. Reed, like many old school Black Power brothers, has a long documented history of sexism. But this is just over the top. He goes into a long tirade about Hill v. Thomas, expresses his disgust for Martin Bashir for some seriously sexist comments regarding Asian women and rambles about how hard it is for a Black man to make it in this country.

Let’s get this straight: documented history of sexual harassment, a mistress and a campaign that was a clusterfuck of Pokemon and Simpsons quotes, a complete lack of experience AND knowledge as it relates to politics and thousands of people who were willing to engage this ridiculous man as a real contender for the role of POTUS…and we’re crying “Black boogie man”? White folks, not Blacks, were the ones rooting this idiot on until the skeletons in his closet came out and did the “Thriller” dance. No “boogie man” this time, brother. Just a freaking asshole who will now make more money for speaking engagements than this time last year…which was probably the point all along. I ride for the brothers when we need to ride…this aint the time.

We’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: far too many brothers can ‘do’ race, but are completely clueless when it comes to gender. Reed’s knee-jerk need to defend someone who has been essentially been proven guilty of, at the very least, workplace sexual harassment simply because he is Black and male is freaking infuriating. It matters not the race of the women involved; there is no evidence that Cain came forward with a big campaign to clear his name, no evidence that he declared himself to be wrongfully accused. His company paid two women a sizable amount of money for infractions against them. Cain ran for office knowing that these allegations had been made and paid. He also knew that he had been carrying on an affair for 13 years. No honor amongst thieves! If someone will aid you in violating your marital contract, it is naive to think she is going to protect you in the future.

But even with the allegations of sexual harassment and affairs, the media was still relatively gentle on ole Herman. There was no “hi-tech lynching” (and, seriously? What Black thinker worth his red, black and green lapel pin uses such a despicable term? One that reduces the struggles of our ancestors- who were ACTUALLY lynched- so?). And comparing the treatment Cain got from liberal media figures to that of Anthony Weiner (who engaged only in consensual inappropriate activity, whilst failing to have the notorious stance about the ‘sanctity of marriage’ that the sexual-harassing philandering Cain has promoted) is just silly.

People of color should be highly critical of the media, which is still very biased and largely owned/shaped by White hands. However, what Reed does here is a waste of time; he asserts that he’s glad Cain is out the race, challenges his credentials AND admits that he may be guilty of some wrongdoing…he just doesn’t think that the media should be so hard on him. This man was allowed to play politician for months, had the support of thousands and was a complete and utter JOKE the entire way. The amazing thing here? For all Reed’s ‘y’all can’t let a brother live’ rhetoric, how many men can say that they got that far in the race to the White House having humble backgrounds, ABSOLUTELY NO POLITICAL EXPERIENCE and a history of workplace sexual harassment? Are we sure Cain isn’t actually White? Because he damn sure had these last few months a lot easier than most folks would have.

Do I find Gingrich and Bachmann to be equally repugnant? Sure. But it seems that Reed’s time would be better spent addressing what’s wrong with them as opposed to writing a bitter defense of a man who never deserved the opportunity to set food in the POTUS race in the first place. Or save the angst for when an innocent Black man is railroaded by the system or when a guilty White one is given a slap on the wrist and pat on the back. But busting guns for Herman Cain? Do better, sir.

…my new job. The prize? All of my time and attention.

*sheds thug tear for The Beautiful Struggler*

I’m not complaining, I LOVE my job. Love it like it bought me a big huge diamond ring. But I don’t want you to think I’ve given up on TBS. This site is not dead. This site will rise. This site is kind. This site is smart. This site is important. It’s just hard for me to keep up with it the way that I want to and work full time. But please…don’t give up on me yet. You’ll be excited and proud and happy when the new EBONY site launches, I swear on everything! It will all be worth it.

The winner of the Twisted Sista hair product giveaway is reader Marjani (@mynamesnotalice of Hot Dogs and Camo) who desperately needs product help for her “shape shifter” tresses.  Thanks to her and to all who entered! If you’re disappointed, fret not! The good people at Nu-NAAT have also provided me the opportunity to bless a lucky reader with some hair swag. A second winner will be announced later this week!

Anyway, I miss you all and I’m hoping that The Beautiful Struggler 3.0 will allow me to stay in touch more often. Yep, the site is being redone again! Lidia-Anain did a fantastic job with the current one, but it is time to re-up, repackage and rebuild with some new energy.

Talk soon!

Tyler Perry is a hack. We’ve known this for a long time. He is a talentless hack who has been lucky that anyone would waste $8.50 to see the absolute nonsense that he dares to present as not merely ‘entertainment’, but some sort of authentic portrayal of the African American experience. But now we are seeing that he is more that merely bad at what he does, he is just completely lacking in good sense, intelligence, wit and all the other things I typically associate with competent, capable people.

Case-in-point: as his loyal audience pushed back at his selection of Kim “Famous for f*cking” Kardashian for his new film The Marriage Counselor (which also stars the wonderful Jurnee Smollett…crazy how he’s able to get these brilliant actors to perform his works of incompetence), he didn’t just defend his choice…he dared to say that Kim is a “role model”. I couldn’t make this up if I tried. From The YBF:

I think many of you know that this is a very difficult time of year for me, so what I try to do is make sure that I’m working during this time. All I wanted to do was shoot a great film and try to keep my mind off the holiday grief that I have been experiencing for the past two years. I could not have imagined I’d be getting all these emails aboutKim Kardashian. I HAVE SEEN THEM!! YOU HAVE BEEN HEARD!! …LOL.Now, may I say something? Can a brother get a word in?….LOL. Y’all gave me a new movie title, Tyler Perry’s “Diary of a Mad Black Woman Cause You Hired Kim Kardashian, Don’t Make Me Take Off My Earrings and Boycott Yo A**.”…LOL . Some of my ladies are upset. Ok, all jokes aside, can I have my say? Will you at least here (sic) me out?…

This movie is about a young lady named Judith (Jurnee Smolett), who grew up in the countryside of Virginia in atrailer park. She was raised in the church by her mother Sarah (Ella Joyce). Judith married her childhood sweetheart Brice (Lance Gross) and had the perfect life until she graduated college and went to work in the big city. After college, all she wanted to do was be a marriage counselor, but the only job she could find was working for a matchmaker named Janice (Vanessa Williams). Janice has several employees that work for her, including a woman named Ava (Kim Kardashian). Ava is constantly trying to influence Judith on everything from her shoes to her hair. Judith meets a man at work named Harley (Robbie Jones). Harley challenges everything in her life from her marriage to her husband to her faith…I wish I could tell you more, but I don’t want to ruin it for you. (It ends with Jesus and a professional Black woman being brought to her knees. Duh-JL)

After I finished writing this movie, I sat back and re-read it. Half way through my read, the gravity of what I had written hit me. I knew that this message was not only for my age group, but for all audiences, especially the youth. ESPECIALLY THE YOUTH!! YOUNG FOLKS NEED TO SEE THIS!!! And not just the young people that follow me, but the young people that are following other young people, as well. I wanted a younger cast, that’s why I put Jurnee in the lead and invited Lance Gross, Robbie Jones and Brandy. About two months ago, long before I even heard about Kim’s marriage or divorce, I was trying to finish up the casting. I said to one of my producers, “who else is out there that young people are looking up to?” One of my producers showed me pictures that his daughter had taken of several hundred kids lined up around the corner to get into a Kardashian store. They wanted to meet Kim. I thought, what better person! (Sic) She literally has millions of young people following her. I thought and still do think, that it would be very responsible of her to be a part of this film. To have the young people that look up to her, see her in a film that is about, what happens in life when you make the wrong choices. Whether you’re aware of it or not, to be honest with you I wasn’t, millions of young people adore her and are following her every move. If one of those young people see this film and find the strength to live a better life and not go through what these characters went through in this movie, then we have all done what I feel I’m being led to do here. I hope you understand. I really do!

And lastly, because I believe that my films speak from the inside out, why wouldn’t Kim Kardashian be invited into a film about Faith, Forgiveness and the healing power of God? What is wrong with that??

He simply doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s like a child with a driver’s license and a big car. Of course he’s gonna crash. I don’t buy the role model story, but I do think he’s naive (or savvy) enough to believe that the power of Kim will compel non-Black audiences. I guess the better question regarding what’s “wrong” with Tyler Perry is…what’s wrong with us? What let our people to anoint him as a trusted storyteller?

My hair has about seven textures on any given day, so finding the right products to manage it can be a challenge. Products that are too oily can have me out here looking like I’m from the Lost Tribes of DeBarge, but a lack of moisture can be just as tragic. When Angela from Michael Rogers PR (also a fan of the site AND a Bison, whoop!) offered to send me the Twisted Sista line to try, I was happy to say ‘yes’  because my  hair has been looking like dust tracks on a road as of late. Plus, I think the girl on the bottle looks like me:

The Different Strokes serum left my hair moisturized without being too oily. I applied it while my hair was still a little damp and let it air dry a few minutes before I added the Curl Activator cream, after which I then braided my hair and let it dry overnight. The result was well defined, tidy curls that were nice and soft. The 30-Second Curl spray was a nice refresher a few days later and added a little ‘just washed’ look to my ‘do.

Twisted Sista products are recommended for both natural and relaxed textures. Interested in trying the line? Check out the site here for a list of major retailers that carry the line, including Walgreens and Duane Reade…or, you can get the whole shebang for free .99! Send an email to sister dot toldja at thebeautifulstruggler dot come explaining why your hair is in dire need of new products. Get creative. I want to feel something when I read this, I want to touch the dryness of your tresses between my fingers, to experience the oil pillow stain that your current product leaves you with…Jamilah cares, if don’t nobody else care. Remember that.

One lucky reader will receive the full Twisted Sista product line. You have until Friday at 12pm to enter. Winner announced on Monday. Make it happen, cap’n!

So I’ve been doing my best not to succumb to the theatrical sobbing that’s threatening to happen due to the passing of one of my favorite rappers, Heavy D. I know we love to act real brand new when celebrities die and pretend that we were the biggest fan of someone we were vaguely familiar with for the sake of feeling connected to something, but Hev was really, truly one of my faves.

I often joke about being stuck behind a decade or two when it comes to Hip-Hop and well, I am. Much of the music I hold dear from ‘back in the day’ makes me feel good in ways that few contemporary artists can match. More than most other rappers from any time or sub-genre, Heavy D made songs that were loving and affirmative for women. Black women, specifically. I didn’t know him personally, we never met, but I really do feel that he had a genuine love and appreciation for sisters and that matters to me. A lot.

I almost entertained the notion that Heavy paved the way for Drake because he was one off the first performers to have major success making Rap songs about girls. However, there is a stark difference between the two. Drake’s “emo” thing is all about himself: his feelings, his insecurities, his pain as it relates to women. He’s occasionally appreciative of women in ways that transcend simply “I like your body and I want to sleep with you” messages, but that’s not so much the norm. Drake’s sensitivity is to himself, where as Heavy was very bold in saying “I got nothing but love for you” to our women. Where in Hip-Hop do you go to find that these days? The past, more often than not.

Helping as a quick story was put together for my job reporting the details of Heavy’s passing was very challenging and new for me. When Michael Jackson died, I put my head on my desk at my non-profit job and cried my eyes out. The next day, I wrote about it for this site and was only responsible for reporting my feelings on the matter. Things done changed. I hope we won’t have anymore stories like this anytime soon, but in the meantime, the charge remains: give our icons their flowers as they breathe.

One of my favorite professors at Howard, Henrietta Edmonds, was nearly 80 when I had her Theatre classes and talked about how much she loved Heavy D as an actor. We thought it was kind of funny how she could go on and on about him, as we were surprised that she even knew who he was. She passed away in 2009. I hope that she can tell him how she feels about him in Heaven. Yes, I have an irreverent 5-year-old’s view of the afterlife. It helps me mourn.

This is my favorite Heavy D song. I posted a bunch of his videos to the EBONY Facebook page, but I haven’t been able to watch or listen to any of his work yet. I hope that some of you will enjoy this:

Dude. I have an irrational loathing for Justin Bieber. He makes my skin crawl. I hate that I know who he is to have any opinion on him at all…and considering that I am over 18 and childless, it seems like I shouldn’t have to. Yet, he’s being pushed in my face and I just want him to go.

I don’t really rock with child entertainers because, well, I’m an adult. I can appreciate adorable or precocious and will certainly give props to the undeniably talented, but this kid is no young Michael Jackson. His voice is marginal and he looks like what I would imagine Ellen Degeneres to look like at 11, except he’s a boy and 17 and I bet I would have much preferred 11 year old Ellen to him.

The final straw was the whole mess with the BET Awards cipher, in which Bieber wanted to participate, but was shut down when DJ Premier discovered that he had allegedly asked Ludacris to ghostwrite his freestyle. The idea of anyone having a written freestyle makes me clutch my B-girl pearls (er, cowrie shells?) and I know that other artists did it (Christopher Brown…don’t get me started) but no one, NO ONE expects this little person to be an emcee. And yet because of the Usher co-sign and the fact that he’s selling tons and tons of records, full grown-ass people are kissing this kid’s ring. I don’t like it.

Beiber isn’t the first White (LILY WHITE) pop artist to be marketed as having ‘urban’, Hip-Hop influenced appeal. However, unlike the New Kids On The Block twenty years before him (who came from an urban area in Boston and were believable, if not also a bit trite), he reeks of “I’ve never taken a city bus in my life and I’ve only heard slang on the radio”. And he’s irksome in interviews with adults, I just really don’t suffer smart-arse children lightly. I think that everything in the world is wrong with him. Everything.

I really need to work on my karma, because I’m pretty sure that the fact that I want that teen girl who allegedly slept with him to be telling the truth and for him to be a baby daddy is a serious failing on my part. I can’t help it. I want him knocked off that freaking pedestal. Alas, it would probably backfire and get him more ‘street-cred’ from your simple cousins who think any sort of ‘bad’ behavior gives someone a Black pass (i.e. Bill Clinton’s infidelity and admitted drug use). Le sigh.

If you aren’t on #teamIhateBieber, this video should change your mind:

Son. No.

I don’t like Melting Pot America sometimes. Why can’t a cute little White boy from the ‘burbs just be a cute little White boy from the ‘burbs? He’ll cross over, trust me. Just look at Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers! I can name 15 kids in Brooklyn who idolize those soulless children. Bah elfin’ humbug to that, but it’s real. The Beiber would still be the biggest boss with a bowl cut that we’ve seen thus far (since the Beatles, of course) even if he failed to integrate Hip-Hop aesthetics into his image.

Sadly, there will be more Beibers and more wackness and more Pop music that I absolutely loath. Thankfully, that’s why there’s this site. So I can complain. Amen and ashe.

Greetings! As many of you know, I have been contributing to half the sites on the Negronia Wide Web for quite a while: Clutch, Essence, Madame Noire, The Loop, Soul Train, Hello Beautiful…yeah. Freelancing is no joke and I still wasn’t eating right, truth be told. Nonetheless, I was certainly lucky to have so many opportunities come my way and to be able to share my work with so many folks. I had a good run and I am grateful to the editors and readers (especially those of you who followed me from this site!) for that.

However, things done changed. After a solid year of all-freelance-everything, I went out and got a gig. Oh, I forgot you ain’t hip to the hip talk. I got a plain J-O-B, baby. Eight hours a day (and HEALTH INSURANCE). The bad news: I won’t be contributing to any other sites aside from this one and Frugivore any time soon. The good news….drumroll please…I’m taking my talents to Ebony, where I am now a content editor for the soon-to-relaunch Ebony.com.

*tosses red, black and green confetti*

This is the sort of opportunity I had worked and hoped and prayed for! I’m so excited! Today is my first day, too. If you have been reading Ebony in print for the past 6 months, then you see where the brand is going and I am so, so proud to be a part of the squad. And I am TRULY grateful to those of you who have been reading and sharing my work over the course of the past 5+ years, for without your support, this wouldn’t be possible.

For those of you who are fans of *this* site and who are annoyed at my infrequent posting, the fact that I’m no longer beholden to so many sites will make it easier for me to speak here more often. In fact, I have two natural hair care product giveaways on deck, so be sure to check back in for those.

Again…merci, merci, merci. The new Ebony.com launches in December. Get ready!

For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you may have noticed that I have changed my handle from @sistertoldja to @jamilahlemieux. I’ve been long since ready to let the moniker go, but it seems that I have finally found the right time to do so. Soon, it won’t be anywhere anymore (except for on my Facebook fan page, which doesn’t let you change names, grrr…).

Sister Toldja is dead. Long live Jamilah Lemieux (hopefully).

I’ve been Sister Toldja online since 2005 or 2006, so letting go of the name is a little difficult. However, I’ve felt for a long time that if I had to do it all over again, I would have picked a different name. I definitely give Sister Souljah her props for her role as a musician and member of the Public Enemy movement and for the inspiration I took as a young woman from reading No Disrespect. However, I do not like being asked if I wrote The Coldest Winter Ever. There’s also, as many of you know, a Conservative writer who goes by the name “Sister Toldjah” and while she has been very friendly to me in our online encounters, I certainly don’t invite that confusion either!

I wanted and needed a name that is authentically mine and what’s more authentic and mine than, well, my real actual name? I’ve been using it at Essence, Clutch and a few other places for quite a while now, so it isn’t that people couldn’t figure out who I am anyway, right? And I’m getting ready to announce some major, life-changing news that makes the abandonment of the nickname a lot more timely. I’ll give you a small hint: I’ll have a lot more time to update this site very soon. Like, for real.

Speaking of life-changing, I had the opportunity to attend “Anita Hill, 20 Years Later: Sex, Power and Speaking Truth”, a conference marking the anniversary of the historic confirmation hearings of 1991 (which made an indelible mark on my identity as a Black woman in America). If you are interested, I did a few pieces inspired by Hill and this amazing event:

“The Anita Hill/Clarence Thomas situation is one of the darkest moments in Black history to take place in my lifetime. Twenty years ago, a debate raged in our communities over who was right and where our support should lie. Devastatingly, many Black men and women felt that getting a Black man on the Supreme Court was more important than acknowledging the indignity a Black woman had suffered at his hands.  The notion that Hill should shut up and let Thomas live is just as horrifying today as it was two decades ago. While Hill lost from a legal standpoint, she certainly scored a significant victory both for herself and for the rights of women everywhere…”

-from “What Black Women Owe Anita Hill” (via Essence Online)

“By the time the sordid details of Hill’s complaint against Thomas had made their way to my young ears, I already knew about sexual harassment, ‘bad’ touch and ‘dirty’ words and, of course, the importance of being respectful to classmates, coworkers, friends and anyone else you interacted with. So the fact that this man had been accused of such a serious behavioral violations was very grave to me. Why would he talk to her that way if she didn’t not like him as a boyfriend? Why would he make gross jokes about private part hair? And if he did something bad to her, why is she the one getting treated mean? The other big issue that bothered me then and enraged me as soon as I was old enough to fully understand it: why were there Black people who felt the need to prioritize having a Black man on the Supreme Court over doing the right thing? If race was such an important issue, why did his race matter…but not hers?”

-from “Anita Taught Me” (via Clutch)

I also weighed in about the unfortunate situation that occurred when a video depicting a 14-year-old girl performing oral sex went viral thanks to social media:

“There’s too much stuff​ involved when it comes to Black girls/women and sex. Too many people to be accountable to, too many rules and regulations, too many spaces for judgment. We are punished for being prudish and denounced for being sexual. When we attempt to assert some sort of sexual autonomy, we are told that we are imitating White women. Katy Perry is a pin-up girl/Pop star Hybrid, while Rihanna is a slut bag whore not just on stage, but in real life. Countless White actresses walk the red carpet unmarried and proudly displaying their baby bump to adoring fans and reporters; Beyonce, who is both married and full-grown, is nasty for dancing while impregnated, doesn’t carry herself in a manner befitting a wife and mother and is yet another example of what is wrong with Black women:  every. single. freaking. thing.”

from “Stop Policing Black Women’s Sexuality” (via The Loop)

Okay. That’s a lot for now, lol. We’ll chat soon!

There’s bad music. There’s very bad music. And then, in the winner’s circle of losing, there’s “Hard” by Will.I.Am, featuring Jennifer Lopez and Mick Jagger. This ish is ‘bad meets worse and goes out for Jager shots, after which they vomit’.

If you don’t have time to watch it, allow me to break it down:

0:13-LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

0:24- J.Lo’s voice <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

0:27- LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Is this Negro serious? 

0:46- “I’ma go hard like ‘Liquid Swords’”…sir. 

1:06- There are lies, there are damn lies and then there is “this beat is the sh!t/feces”. This beat is garbage. “Hard”. See what I did there?

1:20- How did J.Lo ever start singing in the first place? Like, ever? Why?

1:45- “You can get a demon/I’ma get Jesus”…this doesn’t even make sense. Who’s like “Son, I’m ’bout to go get my demons, wordlife”?

2:13- “I woke up in the mornin’/hard like morning wood in the mornin’”…does ASCAP revoke memberships? Is there a form I can fill out?

2:15- Will.I.Am is the worst rapper in the world. I hate him.

2:48- No shade, but this song may be the reason J.Lo and Marc Anthony got a divorce. Maybe it was all of her songs. 

2:55- Oh sh!t. Mick Jagger. Son. Omg. Son. Is he going broke?

3:28-The beat changed and it’s like Jersey Shore in music form. The notes are pumping their fists. 

3:30- Mick Jagger is rapping. I’m sad. I don’t want to listen to any more of this. This makes his remake of “Dancing In The Street” look like solid damned gold. 

3:49- “Hard like geometry/and trigonometry”…I have turned the song off and The Beau is trying to convince me that I’m missing out on the best part. I really don’t think my soul can take anymore.

3:52- “This is craaaazy/psychology”….he dropped a Young Money bar. 

This is all of them at their absolute worst. I have created this composite photo to illustrate that:

From left: Jagger in "Dancing In The Street", Will.I.Am being himself, J.Lo falling on stage

Seriously, this is one of the worst songs I’ve heard in a VERY long time. I am officially on #TeamFergie when it comes to this Black Eyed Peas split. Acutally, no. I’m#teamotherBlackdude and #teamJapaneseghost. I did not think Will.I.Am could go lower than “creamy milky cocoa puff” on “My Humps”, but so long as he draws breath, I guess it’s possible for him to out-wack himself. How much do I have to offer God to trade him for Michael Jackson?