For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you may have noticed that I have changed my handle from @sistertoldja to @jamilahlemieux. I’ve been long since ready to let the moniker go, but it seems that I have finally found the right time to do so. Soon, it won’t be anywhere anymore (except for on my Facebook fan page, which doesn’t let you change names, grrr…).

Sister Toldja is dead. Long live Jamilah Lemieux (hopefully).

I’ve been Sister Toldja online since 2005 or 2006, so letting go of the name is a little difficult. However, I’ve felt for a long time that if I had to do it all over again, I would have picked a different name. I definitely give Sister Souljah her props for her role as a musician and member of the Public Enemy movement and for the inspiration I took as a young woman from reading No Disrespect. However, I do not like being asked if I wrote The Coldest Winter Ever. There’s also, as many of you know, a Conservative writer who goes by the name “Sister Toldjah” and while she has been very friendly to me in our online encounters, I certainly don’t invite that confusion either!

I wanted and needed a name that is authentically mine and what’s more authentic and mine than, well, my real actual name? I’ve been using it at Essence, Clutch and a few other places for quite a while now, so it isn’t that people couldn’t figure out who I am anyway, right? And I’m getting ready to announce some major, life-changing news that makes the abandonment of the nickname a lot more timely. I’ll give you a small hint: I’ll have a lot more time to update this site very soon. Like, for real.

Speaking of life-changing, I had the opportunity to attend “Anita Hill, 20 Years Later: Sex, Power and Speaking Truth”, a conference marking the anniversary of the historic confirmation hearings of 1991 (which made an indelible mark on my identity as a Black woman in America). If you are interested, I did a few pieces inspired by Hill and this amazing event:

“The Anita Hill/Clarence Thomas situation is one of the darkest moments in Black history to take place in my lifetime. Twenty years ago, a debate raged in our communities over who was right and where our support should lie. Devastatingly, many Black men and women felt that getting a Black man on the Supreme Court was more important than acknowledging the indignity a Black woman had suffered at his hands.  The notion that Hill should shut up and let Thomas live is just as horrifying today as it was two decades ago. While Hill lost from a legal standpoint, she certainly scored a significant victory both for herself and for the rights of women everywhere…”

-from “What Black Women Owe Anita Hill” (via Essence Online)

“By the time the sordid details of Hill’s complaint against Thomas had made their way to my young ears, I already knew about sexual harassment, ‘bad’ touch and ‘dirty’ words and, of course, the importance of being respectful to classmates, coworkers, friends and anyone else you interacted with. So the fact that this man had been accused of such a serious behavioral violations was very grave to me. Why would he talk to her that way if she didn’t not like him as a boyfriend? Why would he make gross jokes about private part hair? And if he did something bad to her, why is she the one getting treated mean? The other big issue that bothered me then and enraged me as soon as I was old enough to fully understand it: why were there Black people who felt the need to prioritize having a Black man on the Supreme Court over doing the right thing? If race was such an important issue, why did his race matter…but not hers?”

-from “Anita Taught Me” (via Clutch)

I also weighed in about the unfortunate situation that occurred when a video depicting a 14-year-old girl performing oral sex went viral thanks to social media:

“There’s too much stuff​ involved when it comes to Black girls/women and sex. Too many people to be accountable to, too many rules and regulations, too many spaces for judgment. We are punished for being prudish and denounced for being sexual. When we attempt to assert some sort of sexual autonomy, we are told that we are imitating White women. Katy Perry is a pin-up girl/Pop star Hybrid, while Rihanna is a slut bag whore not just on stage, but in real life. Countless White actresses walk the red carpet unmarried and proudly displaying their baby bump to adoring fans and reporters; Beyonce, who is both married and full-grown, is nasty for dancing while impregnated, doesn’t carry herself in a manner befitting a wife and mother and is yet another example of what is wrong with Black women:  every. single. freaking. thing.”

from “Stop Policing Black Women’s Sexuality” (via The Loop)

Okay. That’s a lot for now, lol. We’ll chat soon!