This Five For Friday is light-hearted and breezy, like the weekend we so deserve after this week. Let’s go!
Three quick tips for the fellas:
1) Get Out My Face Paint.
Fellas, if you see a woman putting on makeup, say on the train or the bus (hey, not the classiest move ever, but time sometimes requires), know that “You don’t need all that, you’re beautiful already” is NOT a welcome pick-up line. You see, she never said “Well, it’s time for me to put on my warpaint, ’cause I shole is ugly!” We don’t always wear make-up to fix flaws or because something is “wrong”; a lot of it, we just enjoy. Furthermore, no matter why she’s wearing it, she’s decided to wear it and you were not a part of this decision. You can’t weight your opinion of someone who doesn’t know you so highly, even in jest. It’s annoying. And we need you to stop being annoying and then saying we are mean when we get annoyed. BTW: if the woman was interested in you in the first place, she may have been trying to give you the eye as opposed to putting her face on. Just a heads up.
2) Nobody Smilin’
She just heard that new Drake and can't figure out why he sounds like Craig David.
I have actually heard these lines on days in which I was heading to a funeral or dealing with a financial crisis or a personal illness. Believe it or not, I never felt that I needed to say “Well, it’s the darnedest thing. I didn’t even know Grandmother was ill…” I know this is supposed to be a cute, sweet line. But it’s annoying and it implies this kind of self-importance that a woman walking around with a scowl on her face probably isn’t in the mood for. To be honest, even when I’m rocking the ill screw face, if I see a dude I find attractive…I might smile. So, perhaps the sight of you is not smile inducing to said woman. No offense. None Taken. Or perhaps the evil lady face is actually designed to say “Leave me alone” to everyone, no matter how cute they may be. Maybe she IS angry. Or maybe you should not walk up to angry looking people in the first place. Surely, there is some chick who is just dying to smile at the fella with the Platinum FUBU hoodie and Grant Hills. Go bother her.
3) Bring Yo’ Arse to the Modern Day Matchmaker LIVE in NYC on June 3rd!
Ladies who want to meet you will be there. CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS! You need to be there. It is going to be epic. And if you come and don’t meet any chicks, you can come tap me on the shoulder and I will introduce you to some of my pretty homegirls, who will be there, as will everyone. Because it is going to be epic.
And two for the ladies. Cause we do equaility around these parts.
4) You Should Be Here
Don’t go taking a break from reading the site, because I have some pretty awesome male guest writers who are gonna be contributing some romance talk in the weeks to come. It’s gonna be…something to remember. You should not miss it.
5) And You Also Need To Be At MDML!
Seriously folks! Thursday is gonna be the business. I know it’s gonna be mad dudes there. The panel is gonna be something to behold. Paul is gonna be spitting some real relationship rap (like, actual relevant advice from a Black man actually MARRIED to a Black woman who doesn’t hate Black women or have more divorces under his belt than he does buttons on his suit). There will be music. There will be drinks. There will be me! www.moderndaymatchmaker.eventbrite.com. Get to it. Use the discount code “SISTERTOLDJA” for 20% off!
Have a fabulous labor day weekend and be safe! We’ll talk soon. Say, Tuesdayish.
I never had a problem with #1… probably cause I don’t wear makeup & any attempt on my part ends up me looking like BooBoo the clown.. if only I can get a makeup artist to follow me around….
Oh geebus, I get #2 all day! It’s irritating as hell. If I wanted to smile, guess what, I will smile. If I had a permanent giant grin on my face 24/7, they’ll think I’m a serial killer ready to burst.
What I hate the most is “Damn you’re short!” No duh, sherlock. Yes, I’ve been waiting my entire life for a perfect stranger to let me know how much of a freak I am because of my short stature… All this time, I thought I was 6ft tall. *roll eyes*
1) i always found it funny…out of the women i know, 85-90% don’t need makeup…personally i think 80% of women…don’t need makeup..or noticable makeup…
but you’re right…i’m a guy…no sayso on such matters…lol
2) i imagine that would be very irritating after a while. thats why i have instituted a policy of not saying anything. furthermore, i’m going to institute a policy that if any lady, particularly a cute one such as yourself, sit near me (on a train, at a bar, at this event on the 3rd), i’ll just get up annd sliiiiiiiiide to the right…cha-cha real smoove, lol
3) i’ll be there, allSnarkeverything.
the next fool that tells me to smile is going to get cut
I hate one with a damn passion. I love makeup, and I’m going to wear it til the day that I DIE, even if I’m just going to the grocery store. And you know what? I wish more women wore it, too. Men also. Because some of them are offending me with their sparse brows and unsightly hyperpigmentation.
I don’t need makeup? No, I don’t “need” much in life, but we could all use a little. Smile at that.
Anon- You are a loser. I have a great life. If you don’t like my stuff, stop reading or following. Find something better to do than being an anonymous internet G. I can tell you aren’t good looking.
Ms. Toldja,
I don’t remember you asking ME to contribute some Guy-type dating advice. I could totally school you on “How to get cut down in 10 words or less”
Oh … you mean Successful advice …
then I’d better read it!
And why my life always like this anyway … I get into NYC the weekend AFTER the MatchMaker thing.
(We all know you Smile a lot)
In regards to #1, maybe that’s a guy’s sorry attempt at unsolicitated flirting or maybe it’s a coy polite way of saying (as you pointed out), “Hey, lady, do that shyt before you step out the house…you don’t see my shaving on this express train, do ya?” *shrugs* Who knows.
I can definitely see how #2 can get repetitive and annoying and I haven’t told a woman that in years. Question though, is it still annoying if you establish eye-contact with a mean-mugging woman and say something as simple as “good morning”? Do women take offense to a “good morning” and a smile? I haven’t had a problem with that in the south, but I know in places such as NY, that may be different.
Well, let me be the anti-women here…
#1 – I don’t get this comment much because I rarely wear make-up unless it’s for a major dress-up event. I can’t imagine putting all that on on a daily basis. I would be more offended if a guy told me my make-up looked nice rather than telling me I didn’t need make-up. It’s like your boyfriend telling you you look nice in a dress, but drop-dead gorgeous in jeans and a t-shirt…
#2 – When a random negro tells me to smile on the streets, I actually smile. Normally, it’s a reminder that whatever I’m thinking about so hard that I’m neglecting my surroundings and am giving off a mean vibe, then maybe I should be the change I want to see. Sure, I’ve been annoyed when given the “smile” comment when I was generally having a really tough time, but I don’t scowl at the individual who told me to smile, I let them know why I’m mad. And after that conversation (quick or long, depending on the person), I normally feel better because someone emphasized with me or they told me to get over it because it could always be worse. *shrugs* Maybe it’s a southern thing, but I pay respect to those (especially my people) who speak to me in the streets and are saying something constructive, no matter how corny.
You don’t have to cheese like Bo-Bo the Fool, but you can look pleasant and like you enjoy life, especially if you really are grateful for your life and they way you are living it…
I do not like the instruction to smile at all. I wish that someone would tell men to stop it. The demand for me to smile is probably the least smile-inducing demand that a man can make on me. You could tell me to “DIE!” and I’d probably be more tickled by your crazy than I am by a stranger’s unsolicited mandate that I do something different with my own facial muscles.
Here’s an idea for the men that feel the need to see more women smile… How about smiling at them? If a man smiles and says “hello”, I am a gazillion times more likely to smile back.