I spoke on a panel the other night about relationships and the continuing decline in Black marriage rates. I had a good time, said some stuff that some people liked and others, not so much. The next day, I got a few messages from folks who I’d met after the discussion. Most were kind offers to keep in touch and share connects. One, from an anonymous man using the email address lngdckdng@hotmail.com (say it out loud) wasn’t so friendly (spelling and grammatical errors are his own):
“I saw you last night at the (event name). Now while you are an atriculate intellectual and are beautiful from the chest up, when thinking about marriage, from your stomach down is where your problems comes in. Brothers are visual, and a bad body trumps an ugly face, and in Kim Kardashians case, a sex tape appearance. Vivica did a sex tape and now there is talk of she and 50 getting back together, WHY, BECAUSE SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMAN FROM HEAD TO TOE! Beauty and Body sort of trumps all. Yeah, sisters are given a harder time but that is because of historical images being fed to society. But a beautiful personality (which you have), a beautiful face (which you have) and a beautiful body (which you DO NOT HAVE) go a long way in you not getting excused because of Asian women…You try to hide it by wearing black. The black dress did you no justice last night. Sorry to sound harsh, but I’m just trying to feed you the real deal of why you may be having a hard time finding so-called real love or marriage…”
Now, without having any clue who wrote this, I am willing to bet my every single earthly possession that he is physically unattractive. This message smacks of the pure anger and indignation of a man who has been passed over by women who look like me, women who have what he deems a beautiful body and, likely, women who are even more physically ‘flawed’ than I. I’ve heard handsome men say terrible things about women, but I have typically only heard comments like this either from men who would not be considered good looking by most standards or from men hiding in cowardice on the internet. Who are usually the former, I’d reckon.
Regardless of what he looks like, this man’s words make very plain how undesirable and worthless he is. For starters, he’s a coward for not saying these things to my face. Beyond that, he’s using a textbook tool for dis-empowering a woman: an attack on her looks. The fact that he feels comfortable addressing how I look without showing his own face is absurd. And anyone throwing 50 Cent out there as an example of the good Black man I could have if I just did something about my body isn’t working with a full deck anyway.
As easy as it would be to dismiss this likely unattractive and obviously unintelligent man, I’d be lying if I said the letter didn’t irk me. For starters, this wasn’t street harassment. This was a room full of self-identified young, Black professionals gathering in the name of a civic engagement organization. And the fact that one of these brothers chooses to perpetuate this absurd notion that a woman who wants to date a ‘good Black man’ must be physically perfect by some ugly ghost man in the shadows is just disheartening. I know it doesn’t speak to what MOST men feel (please believe, I meet plenty of men who seem to have no problem with my imperfect body), but there is an awful lot of societal pressure for women to be beautiful. And that someone felt emboldened to tell me I’m not beautiful enough to have a man? Yeah, not quite cool.
On a more personal note, I’m embarrassed to admit that I can’t help but to wonder if people reading this who have never met me now have some negative image of what I look like. I don’t care that this undoubtedly ugly and stupid miscreant doesn’t fancy me, because I’d surely laugh him out of the building if he even tried to step. But what if someone worth dating saw this and said “Wait, she’s got a messed up body?” Like, say if today was the day Wyatt Cenac decided to come look at his future wife’s site and gets nervous. And I hate myself a little bit for even letting that thought pass my mind, but I can’t help but to be a bit defensive about the body I worked so hard to create. With blood, sweat and tears, I transformed it from a size 18 to a 10. I still have a tummy and I still ain’t got no butt, but I clock more hours in the gym than most folks you know. Whatever this body looks like to some anonymous fool, it looks good to me because it’s mine and it’s healthy.
Why did I even feel the need to post this? I want this man to know that he’s a joke and that he’s being laughed at in front of women of all sizes, shapes and colors who are ALL too good for him. I want him to understand that he’ll never have a Sister Toldja nor a Kim Kardashian because he’s wack and you KNOW he probably looks like a puppy omelet. It wouldn’t matter if I weighed 400 pounds or 104 pounds, I’d still be too good for this guy and he knows that. And it is my sincerest wish that he becomes keenly aware of the fact that he is the one who is in some way unworthy of the attention of this flat arsed, amazon gal and any other woman with an ounce of pride and a pinch of pretty.
I’m a long time reader of your blog and felt the need to post today. The fact that this guy felt the need to take time out of his life and anonymously write a negative email to you shows that as you said he is a lame. People are so bold and rude behind the safety of their computer screen; he could have said this to your face while at the panel discussion. The fact that sometimes our own men are so quick to tear us down is unsettling. He also appears very shallow as he thinks beauty and body trumps everything.
As you said he is a joke. From the picture I’ve seen of you girl your as cute as can be!!
I just came across your page today because of a link from another blog I like to favor, Im glad I did.
What I love about entitlement is the fact that some of us believe it is our responsibility to “keep it real” for someone. In a society where there are dominant and subordinate groups, the dominants seem to always know whats best for those who are suppressed, regardless of their own current state. I believe your analysis of mr “my penis really is small so I have to come up with this cleaver email so the chicks I holla at on Blackplanet are down” is spot on.
Also, Wyatt is my husband in my head and I actually got to meet him at a party once. I punked out and just told him he was a friend in my head…yeah we didnt become friends in real life either, but he was real cool.
You ain’t heard? There’s no such thing as an unattractive Black man. See, if he’s not in jail, selling drugs, or has a gang of kids/baby mommas, he’s ‘attractive’. Maybe he isn’t told this in the mirror, but trust and believe he gets women, Black women, lots of them. Eventually, he starts to believe he’s more attractive–not because of how he really feels about himself but because of what people tell him about the shortage of Black men.
He pursues women with his idea of ‘nice’ bodies and they don’t rebuff him. They don’t because it probably takes a few weeks for his true self to come out. He doesn’t have cause to pull them down initially over their physical appearance. But as they date, he’s the type who will make negative comments about other women. If the women he dates need ego stroking, they will take his downing other women as him ‘big-upping’ them. They won’t even notice that if he’s willing to pull down the women he doesn’t even know, one day he’ll take all the information he got about her and try to tear her down too using that information.
boy, e-courage is amazing. If this boy was so repulsed by your body, THEN WHAT KEPT HIM FROM STEPPING TO YOU AT THE EVENT?? Oh, right, because he’s a mudduck.
Yes, Brothas are visual, but everyone looks great in the dark. But he wouldn’t know because he’s never done it PERIOD.
Dude, PRESS ON. No one is interested in you or your little man. Whomp whomp.
And DEAD @ the anon email addy!!!
I’m done with Nikki’s comment!!! Yes E-courage is truly amazing!!
“Oh, right, because he’s a mudduck…Dude, PRESS ON. No one is interested in you or your little man. Whomp whomp.”
His email, as I am sure he has been told many times before, was so unnecessary. He went after you like that, why? He tried to take the easy way out, but little did he know who he was “trying” to insult is truly the business and will not allow his anonymous words to derail her!
Unbelievable!
*standing ovation*
Yeah, it kills me how men automatically go to tearing a sista’s outward appearance to shreds, never thinking that YOU may not find them attractive, thus causing you to give eight shits about their so called opinion. And had he been attractive to you, like you said, his example of Fiddy Motherlovin’ Cent as a potential good candidate renders him worthless.
That FACT that is was from someone who wants to be anonymous… was clue enough for you to chuck the letter in the toilet and shit on it. Men that claim to be MEN but don’t have the gall to approach a lady and tell her what you think about her, but choose to write any email and try to break her down by speaking about here body, all the while praising her obviously beautiful face is a coward and shouldn’t be worthy of having you use your time to address him.
From reading your blogs, you should never entertain people that have no respect to come at you like that woman that you are. he is down right rude and rather annoying.
I should find him and spit on him
ETA: Oh, and for what it’s worth…that pic of you in the “About Me” section is PLENTY fly. Love those shoes, too!
I think that guys like that make it harder for the rest of us to live. Its hard enough that we have to deal with the fact that we are constantly attacked in corporate America as their projects or “one.” But people like this guy are people that just need to stop.
As a black man with some sense, a sex tape is not what makes you hot. C’mon son! That’s the last thing that I would ever want in a mate. And since when is 50 a relevant person when it comes to relationships.
I will say this. To become an “internet gangster” and send an email like this shows that this guy doesn’t even respect himself. I am working hard everyday to improve myself. And even though I have not been the best towards women when I was younger in search of being “cool”, I think that as my own sisters get older I should treat women with the respect that they deserve.
Life is hard as it is. No reason to add to it with stupidity.
c3k
“…atriculate…” (- 1)
rest of email (-9) out of 10.
that dog is just mad because he knows you know better than to date an overall ugly man like him.
The universe is balanced, he’ll get what he deserves (nothin).
love
emily
Further…and in conclusion, you aren’t married/single because you don’t a ba-donk?
He’s a 4’6” troll…I know it!
I know he is sitting in that room that he rented just wishing, hoping and praying that you respond to his email!
Don’t ever make nonsense like this make you skip a beat!!
Ah, Ugly Man Misogyny™ strikes again. One way or the other, homeskillet decided that you were gonna notice him, damnit! LOL. Moving right along…
a puppy omelet. HA!
this is a hot mess. on wheels. and your response is on point.
peace
He’s a dirtbag loser ass loser. To hell with him.
Agreed, Ms. Smart. I mean, AMEN!
Really, I think this is a woman. That e-mails reeks of a self-hating woman that’s trying to break you down. Sistertoldja, I thought this yesterday when you tweeted about the letter. If my experience with dejected, unattractive men rings true, I just don’t think he would have done it anonymously.
Long time reader and would like to say that I think you’re fierce on the inside and out and please don’t let this fool bring you down. From my observation, the real beautiful confident men are those who looks for intellect and character in a woman. They’re not superficial and look for inner beauty because they’re smart enough to know that inner qualities takes a relationship further. As long as you’re healthy and eat right, why should your figure be the deciding factor for marriage. The insecure mothaflowers such as lngdckdng@hotmail.com who has nothing good going for them and needs a “banging body” (according to his own definition) woman by their sides, are the ones who looks for outer qualities in order to make them feel like a man. Sad case. It disgusts me to even know that he was part of a young professional event. I say we all start raiding his inbox! What a damn shame and embarrassing coming from a Black man…
P.S. Sorry for the long comment, just had to give my 2 cents
It never ceases to blow my mind mens’ attitudes are still very much like this. These ideas about perfect beauty and body transcends ethnic groups, I am here to tell you, but no matter, it’s all disheartening, disappointing, and disgusting. Why am *I* single, motherfucker? Not because I have a belly, but because nasty men like YOU make me all the more content to enjoy my dogs, my wine, and myself.
May God bless him with a lick of sense. This was just stupid and mean.
Girl! Girl Girl!
Like I tweeted last night I am convinced that some men believe that pretty women’s’ self esteem comes from the outside because of their shallowness as people.
Then because they are shallow and insecure they immediately try to bring you down by calling ugly, fat, lazy, bad built, even pretty for a girl.
You remember the story I told you about the plaything who after he had been all up in me (biblical) proceeded to tell me I’d be Beyonce fine if I lost 30lbs (which I coulda took as a compliment, cuz I think I’m 60lbs away from Beyonce fine! *lol* at least). After I told him I was already fine I told him good bye, loser!
I love the NEW site. It’s awesome. You’re awesome.
_OG
He has a small peen, isn’t attractive, wants you BAD and sucks in the sack. His low self esteem is showing through his words. I bet he is probably 22 years old at that. EFF HIM.
I have seen you in person and you are GORGEOUS (but Im sure you know that already)
@Ms Smart YOU ARE RIGHT! Black men think that just cause they are MEN that we should do whatever for their approval just because they are men. They can BITE ME. I’d rather become a lesbum :-/
Girl! Girl Girl!
Like I tweeted last night I am convinced that some men believe that pretty women’s’ self esteem comes from the outside because of their shallowness as people.
Then because they are shallow and insecure they immediately try to bring you down by calling ugly, fat, lazy, bad built, even pretty for a girl.
You remember the story I told you about the plaything who after he had been all up in me (biblical) proceeded to tell me I’d be Beyonce fine if I lost 30lbs (which I coulda took as a compliment, cuz I think I’m 60lbs away from Beyonce fine! *lol* at least). After I told him I was already fine I told him good bye, loser!
I love the NEW site. It’s awesome. You’re awesome.
He is so full of shit. Maybe this excuse would work if black men did not seek out the fattest ugliest white women they could find. Black men will excuse standards for other races of women that they claim sistas don’t meet.
Good post, unfortunate that you had to use your blog to respond to such ugliness on the part of that brotha. He evidently is someone who will either remain single or will find someone who is just as shallow, vain and valueless who will reproduce! True love and attraction is about seeing a person’s heart and their true selves and not their body nor their possessions.
I too, am new to your blog, as I came across it through another twitterer. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
I concur with every sentiment expressed in the comments, regarding his probable innate behavior. This is a clear example of PROJECTION. All of one’s inadequacies are forced onto someone else, in an attempt to draw attention away from what is truth. His display of his disproportionate, feeble opinion, is just that.
I found this blog after the link was posted by someone I follow on Twitter. I couldn’t even read the entire blog post before I felt the urge to respond. I’m sorry but he is NOT a representation of black men and as a proud black man and lover of the black man, the black woman and the black family, I simply can not allow the thoughts of a feeble mind to represent my voice.
If you are a man (or woman) who solely seeks ocular gratification from your mate, subscribe to a few magazines, sit in the corner and have fun. Relationships are more than about how someone looks from “head to toe”. He used Kim K. and Vivica A. as examples of women who have what it takes to get and keep a man. However, Kim was cheated on by her man last year and Vivica was once dumped by 50 for being “crazy”, and last time I checked, neither had Mrs. in front of their names. He should have used better examples.
The black woman is beautiful as is, flaws and all. The problem plaguing the black woman has less to do with her body being “sex tape” ready and more to do with too many black men not being “mentally” ready to love her outside of what society dictates. Once that starts happening, there will be less talk about the lack of black love.
He makes me laugh because he’s ridiculous. Like others, I think your response is on point. I would guess that he’ll email again and ask why you didn’t respond. He’s a small person with a smaller intellect and really, who has time for that?
Blog stalker here – had to friggin’ post a comment.
I’m so sorry! As much as we say something like this doesn’t matter… I know, from experience, that it does sting a little bit.
Yes! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but opinions are like assholes everyone has one..
Just like the black women we see acting ig’nant on TV are not indicative of ALL black women. This should not be used as a damning indictment on black men at all so y’all be careful doing that ok?
I am a “small girl” and I had guy tell me he wanted to date me becuase I was small. I then introduced him to my obese father, obese sister and lil over weight mother. Then we had a 2 hour argument becuase I told him. “I know his type. You will not marry me while I’m small and make my life a living hell when I gain 60lbs from age and kids” It’s called unconditional love
All I can muster from this piece is who is this Wyatt Cenac that has taken the place of your Kid Cudi.
I am so angry right now! What a pitiful, shameful excuse for a black man! Ms. Fox, who is a pretty lady, is not natural – she has more plastic then Tupperware!!! Thank you for posting this Sista – you are not the first to have such cruel and untrue things said about you by an immature amoeba. A lot of us has been verbally abused by small minded males with even smaller d#&K$. Whoever God has for you won’t be put off by this idiot’s so-called description of you. There are still good men out there in the world who want a REAL woman and not some booty-injected video vixen!!! *HMMM!*
I saw the comment you posted via twitter. There are GREAT men out there, he’s just one of the many shallow losers that tries and brings women down because he doesn’t have the intelligence, nor foresight to maintain a meaningful relationship with women. In other words he’s a loser! straight up lame.
Men like these pop up all the time, 1 idiot told me I need proactive, but his 5’3 ego was too small too realize he was the biggest mistake of my life and his arrogance, deceit and foolishness would permanently impair his ability 2 keep good women.
Anyways hold your head high, you’re beautiful and Karma is a motha**.
When one does not have love and respect for self, one cannot express love and respect for anyone else. It is obvious that he has some love and respect issues going on inside of that miniscule mind of his. Weight is a sensitive issue for all of us regardless if we are small or large. It is sad that we are still being judge by our size versus who we are as a person.
After reading the letter and your response, I have to agree that this brother is very little. Worth little, acts little, and should receive VERY little of your attention. He doesn’t like your body – then he doesn’t have to stare at your or even talk to you.
What does REALLY bother me about this letter and some of comments on this page is the generalization of black men and black women. Taking from Hill Harper’s “The Conversation,” we tend to make generalizations based on what one person does. He generalizes black men saying they want black women a certain way – No, he wants his women one way. Sisters comment back upset that black men always trying to bring black women down – No, some do, not the general populace.
I was hoping more men would comment, just so those who have experienced little people like the email “writer” could also see that there are plenty of black men that disagree with this way of thinking. Whether you’re skinny or big – Miss New Booty or the President of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee – we all appeal to someone – and not just because of your looks or what we can do for someone else. Many black men look for the whole package – and they are the men worth the time and effort to discuss.
Those with the short list can just kick rocks until they grow up…
-BStarr
P.S – Sista Toldja, I remember you as a campus pal back in your HU days, and you always looked plenty bad and confident. There was nothing about your shape or weight that ever screamed hideous or undesirable to the right man. In the end, that guy’s opinion is not worth the imaginary computer ink used to right his email.
Don’t really have time to go into this, and I did not read it, someone sent this to me and I read some of what the “hater” wrote. All things aside I will keep this short and sweet, then get back later. Son, that’s a bitch-move, dude is a coward and a weakling. And be clear, I’m not name calling or belittling, its just is what it is as they say.
I’ll be back later. ONE!!!
HI Sister Toldja,
We actually met at this event that was not mentioned and I just wanted to apologize on behalf of men everywhere for this fool’s idiotic and dumb remarks. Being a moron is a symptom that seems to be running rapid these days, but still, with that, there is no excuse. You were beautiful, strong, conversational, posed, and just a delight. Keep on keeping on my soul sister!!!!! We need more black woman like you, keeping us men who are looking to get married one day, hopefully of that perfect spouse.
check ya later!!!!
The Fresh Prince of New York
http://www.freshprincenyc2010.com – website
They say misery loves company. By the looks of things he was hoping you might join him in that miserable rollercoaster ride that he calls a life. I think he also saw that you had higher self esteem than him. So he started by trying to knock you down off your “high horse” with his BS commentary on what “the brothas” want and are looking for. That dude isn’t a brotha he’s a bitch. A real man would never have to get you off the horse cause he’d be on his own horse looking you right in the eyes. Keep rocking Sista Toldja cause all the BS just makes it easier to recognize the real.
This post was nothing short of amazing. I admire that you aired how this negatively impacted you for a second, but realized that you are the better person and a whole lot more womyn than that petty little boy can handle.
It’s a damn shame that people throw out their two cents, when they really can’t afford it.
Greetings Fellow HBCUgrad/Sister!
I just read your article in Essence magazine and what struck me most was how truly beautiful, intelligent, sad and misguided you are.
You and many Black women put themselves in the victims seat. So many sistas have crowned themselves “Queens of Pain”. Why? Because they live, die and struggle at this notion that ONLY true happiness and “mo’ Blackness” can come from the a band of “gold that matches some “tall, chocolate dark Brutha”.
Just because me and Tiger Woods, Clarence Thomas, Reggie Bush, Charles Barkley, Seal and a host of other “up front and center” Black men share a strand of DNA; I am supposed to “bow down before the Black Massa Kang” and say he is “worthy??” What makes him so “friggin diggin” special?
Also and most frightening is the concept of “our men”. I see no ownership when it comes to people. I do not and never have felt offended when “bruthas” were with non-Black women. I could care less. I think Black women are watching too much “Channel Zero”.
The truth is that most Black men marry Black women. Even in the NBA, most of the dudes are married to Black women.
I was talking to one of my two brothers. One is a doctor the other is a former city manager and is now working for a company that manages certain employee issues for another city and both are married to Black women. I read parts of your article to him over the phone and he said, “I just don’t get it. Every one of my friends is married to a Black woman. I have only 1 friend who exclusively dates out, but he is no prize.” Then he went onto say, “Ten or 15 years ago, I was the most militant and misguided brutha out there. I was so opposed to IR dating. But I am over that. People just need to be happy and let grown folks marry who they are gonna marry.” This is the same brother who told me while he knows Black female beauty comes in all shades. He is HAPPY to see KeKe Palmer on Nickelodeon. He said the “bi-racial” look of Black women is getting boring. It is nice to see a pretty, brown up and coming Sista for a change.”
Call me crazy? But as a Black woman. I define myself on my own terms regardless of who I am married and furthermore, a Black man to call my husband does not make me any Blacker. Out of the kids my parents had, I am the one married IR. It has been 15 years of complete love, fun, growth and respect. I work in diversity and each and everyday I am helping young people of color realize their dreams.
A few issues back in Essence, when Halle was on the cover, there was an article called, “Fool’s Paradise” which talked about Black men going down to the Dominican Republic to BUY sex. They have been doing it for years in Brazil and in articles I have read in Essence and elsewhere the frequent use by Black men of “living like a king” continues to make me laugh. Anyone who has to travel to another country to BUY sex (cheaply), affection(cheaper) & the illusion (cheapest of all) of “ballin” with (per the articles) light skinned women with pretty, good, shiny,long hur/hair” are a pitiful bunch. If they think this is all it takes to be the woman worth “wifing”. I hope they get exactly what they pay for because that is a man with qualities that I find repulsive.
Now, the brutha who sized you up crudely and added further insult to injury by trying to bust you out about your “looks”? C’mon Diva! You are too intelligent, classy, and on the move for that jackass swine! I mean, is this the type of man who you think would be a “good mate” now that you see his truly colors and how he was easily swayed by this notion of “exotic asian women”. He has other issues..trust! *lol*
As you grow and get older, you will find that quality man. He will be the type of man you deserve but just don’t let the “fate” of DNA be the ONLY reason he deserves you.
@Spelman89- I’m sure we’d differ in opinion on the “misguided” comment, but I can tell you that I’m not hardly “sad”. I have a good life. I’ve dated good men. It’s that loss of willingness or ability to fight that middle class middle aged Blacks such as yourself seem to have experienced that perpetuates so much of our trouble. I hope that as my daily life becomes more comfortable, I don’t lose my edge as you claim some of your formerly “militant” friends have. My parents are in their 60’s and have held on, so there is some hope for me.
If anything is sad, it’s the insinuation that trying to contribute to a longtime conversation about Black love is somehow speaking to some sort of ’sadness’ within. Or that it’s unreasonable to be sad at the state of our relationships.
Again, we will have to agree to disagree because the whole article is another “Please Black Man, Love Me.” Do you think young Black men today sent around and wonder “if” Black women are thinking whether or not their thighs are too big? Their hair too nappy? Is their biological clock ticking?” Can I still find a good woman in the church? Nope. But Tyler Perry, TD Jakes, Steve Harvey and other Black men have made millions upon pulling Black women back and forth emotionally while emptying their purses because they know that Black women today are the easiest hustle. It is literally like shooting fish in a barrel. Again, no one wants to look at the statistic that most Black people, marry Black people. Some of us get “so upset” because a “so called” rich and eligible brother (like a Seal, Reggie or Kobe) gets with a non-Black woman. The are lots of other Black men out there who when they do marry, will marry a Black woman. But, it sells papers and makes money for many to bring the “pain” of being Black and female.
I am not “so old” that I don’t remember dating and by my profession I am around lots of 25 and 35 year old not a day passes where someone assumes that I am somewhere in between. It is only when I announce who I am is there a “double take” as to “How old is she?”
Again, I praised you for all that you are because you are smart, beautiful, thoughtful and intelligent. But, when the majority of Black men that I see “younger, older and my age” have nothing but positive things to say about Black women; I just wonder what are younger sistas like yourself going for when it comes to an eligible Black man?
Also, us middle aged-middle class blacks did not start this fire. My parents were the first to talk about “I’m Black and I’m Proud” and perms were a definite no-no in my house. I talk to a lot of young women your age and it is interesting to see how they define themselves as women, marriage material and what makes a Black man desirable. I also talk to young Black male peers and the responses given are something for a social scientist to decipher. Also, if you re-read my original post, I did not say “your life was sad”. My comments were within the context of the Essence article and again, it is “sad” that beautiful, intelligent Black women spend so much time on looking at themselves through (some)Black man’s eyes and feel it necessary to have to contrast and compare themselves to non-Black women and again, it is “sad” that “we” sometimes think Black men are “our men”. No, they are just men who share our DNA. With 68% or so of Black children being born out of wedlock it just seems as though all Black women require from “our men” is that DNA strand that binds us and we show through our actions that that is “enough”.
Reggie Bush was billed as a “FANTASY” on cover of Essence “love/February” issue. Yes, any man on the cover of a magazine is just that…Fantasy. We don’t know Reggie Bush from George Bush. All Reggie Bush is is a genetic anomaly who can throw a ball and run up and down a field and get paid for it. What about the Black man who owns his own barbershop and a McDonald’s franchise and has no kids and is looking for a good woman? Or a sista doesn’t even have to go “blue collar”. What about the brutha in Chemistry who has spent 6.5 years getting a PhD and is trying to get tenure and will have a secure “non glamorous” life but shine in his field? I see these types of young men all the time and they tend not to be the flashiest, coolest, brutha…but good guys. With me and my “old self”, I can tell you flashy, swagger having” men have never been and never will be something other than a passing fancy and women would be better off outgrowing them.
Much continued success and yes, I am now a supporter of this blog. You rock!
As a male and attendee of the event you did not name. I am deeply disturbed by reading your blog for the first time and hearing someone from our forum left such a message. Please realize the person who wrote the message is not a representation of a man. Obviously, you are dealing with a child still doing childish things. A man of substance uplifts and realizes one of the greatest gifts giving to man is woman.
With all that said please accept this apology on behalf of the real men in that forum. I thought you looked exquisite and if he took his eyes off your chest and opened his ears he might have learned something.
Sincerely,
Loving on my sisters
@Spellman89- Thank you, sis. I don’t think my female peers and I are looking for anything so unheard of. And as someone who is actively dating, I’d be lying if I said there is nothing out here for us. My personal cause is to work on facilitating conversations between the genders and working to break down the barriers that are preventing us from creating the healthy Black families most of us are looking to start. We are eye to eye on the books and the sometimes sketchy advice we are receiving nowadays (WAIT until you see my review of the worst one of them yet).
Okay, so… let me start by saying:
1.) U ain’t got no ass? TRAGIC
2.) U ain’t got… j/k
[JOKES]
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Talk about an easy email to break down, lol. Beccause in his heart of hearts, this dude probably thought he was being clever and doing a favor by telling you what you needed to know to be deemed acceptable of being CHOSE. [yawn and sigh]
Clearly, your comments at this forum (the one’s you described as “stuff ppl didn’t like so much”), slapped him right in his face. Two times actually, with a handful of baby powder. If it’s one thing that sadly the majority of human beings do not take well, is being told about themselves. And indirectly, your comments placed a mirror right in front of his overly more fragile than most, male ego. And just to further show how much of an immature unevolved individual he is, he saw fit to try and attack you verbally, like he felt you did him. Its quite sad, if I do say so myself.
With that said, I’m sorry this INDIVIDUAL passed just enough negative energy your way, to cause your mind to start turning when it should not have. I’m sure you will probably, not accept this, but as a man… I would like to apologize for his comments. Especially when considering the reason they were “shared” in the first place.
Puppy Omelet hilarious.