I’m sick of crackheads.

I know that sounds like a horrible way to trivialize the horrors of the drug flood in American ghettoes…..but damn! Crack hit in the 80s, and most junkies don’t live long junkie lives. They either get straight or die. That means that people in 2007 are NEW CRACKHEADS! Like, some of these cats started smoking in the late 90s and 2000s. How in the world did you not know better than to start crack in 2002? I think the word “crackhead” was firmly placed in the American slang lexicon long ago. So that means the new junkies on the block had seen crackheads before. How you know what a crackhead looks like and be like “Oh, that’s what’s up! I want to stink, sell my momma’s TV and clean windows at the gas station too!”?

Crackheads be like the neighborhood pet or mascot. After a while everybody knows their name, which of course is now officially “Alice the Crackhead” or “Crackhead Joe”. They are the default carrier of large packages and assistant furniture mover (depending on how much they steal). You feed them scraps like you would a sad puppy: “Aw, I can’t finish this chicken. Ay, Crackhead Joe! Come get this pizza crust!”I’m so over it.

I think there should be a law that requires doctors test women’s voices. If the octave is too high, they should be required to talk out of one of those voice manipulators that people use when they have kidnapped someone and want to trick the police. Or else they should have to talk out of a paper towel roll. That will keep them from talking when it’s not absolutely crucial. We can also apply this rule to anyone who’s voice is just plum annoying. That’ll learn them. And don’t call me insensitive. My natural voice is kinda high and guess what? I changed it! My natural voice is somewhat high and nasal…imagine a Black girl from the South Side of Chicago with just a touch of Fran “The Nanny” Drescher. Not a good look.

Please refrain from using the term “virtual” or “high-tech lynching” when referring to Black screwups such as Mike Vick. You know who’s getting “lynched”? The Jena Six. And if any one is “lynching” Vick, he himself bought the rope (24K y’all!), the tree, the crowd, the refreshments and an invitation saying “I am gonna hang myself from a tree. Who would like to watch?”.

A lot of Black people don’t understand why White people are so up in arms about someone hurting dogs. Let me try to contextualize it.

REAL LIFE MATHEMATICS:
The sum of Black people’s love for
-rims
-Jay-Z
-family reunions
-Al Sharpton
-”the hookup”
-Tupac
-Biggie
-Martin Luther King
-Crown Royal
-Crown Royal bags

=White people’s love for dogs.

That said, America has way bigger problems than dogfighting to worry about. That said, anyone who does the type of things Vick “allegedly” did to them dogs needs to be locked up. I guarantee had this not happened, he probably woulda went down on some Jayson Williams type stuff.

“Virtual lynching” my ass. And speaking of Clarence Thomas, while I am not in favor of hanging anyone out of respect for my ancestors who were lynched without reason, I am all for getting anyone together who is interested and going to his house and beating him in his sleep. Come on, you know you want to.

Bobhadababyitsaboy,
Sister Toldja

***Thanks to everybody who left their John Hancock on the comments section! Really appreciate it. I have linked everyone who left their blog info and I had the chance to check out most of the sites (I’m making my way down the list as we speak). There is a pretty cool mix of people reading this and there are people I would have never guessed would be into this blog. I think the coolest part is when people I know and haven’t talked to in years hit me up. Special shout out to all my Beasley Bees, Whitney Young Dolphins, Howard Bison, Chicago bredren, DC peeps, the BK massive and anyone else who find the time to read all the mess I put up here!***