Oh man oh man oh man. Y’all aren’t gonna believe what happened to me!

I was trying to fit into a complicated parking spot, when an impatient Middle Eastern man trying to drive around me suddenly sped up. “Dude, what’s your problem? You almost hit me” I yelled. And this half-dead waste of space responds “You BASTARD!” and as I am REELING from being called a bastard, he follows with “You….you…. NIGGER!!!”

Yeah.

What I did after that is irrelevant….okay, if you must know I hopped out the car and said “Nigger? You just called me a NIGGER? Get your ass out the car! I will motherfucking kill you! Get out the car!” But again, that part is irrelevant.

How ugly is that? Another brown-skinned person of color calling me that! In a country where half the damn citizens would think he was a terrorsist off rip, he wants to use that ugly word to describe me. Cause he didn’t feel like waiting for me to (quite legally and correct according to where we were) park. When I sent out the massive text to my peoples (yeah, if you’re number is in my phone you are prone to getting the “live feed” version of the blog that is my life), a few people thought I should have called him a “rag-head nigger” or a “sand-nigger”. But I’m better than that….I may not be better than threatening the life of a 65 year old man, but I’m better than THAT.

Question: who taught the world that Black Americans were nigger/as? Hip-Hop? The Klan? Who’s to blame? Holler at me in the comments on this one.

In lighter race news, Sister Salud and I partied with some Jewish boys the other night. Yup, sure did. It was random- we were leaving one bar when one of them (drunkenly) yelled out “Hey, it’s my birthday, come party with us!” So we did. And they bought us drinks AND empanadas! Do brothers do that? Noooo. And on the rare occasion they do, it’s like “With this drink I declare us man and guaranteed ass.”

Of course I ran in to a few people I know. The hilarity of that is that these people usually see me with my real hair, talking about how Black people need to uplift themselves. And here I was with a wig and a White man in tow. Classic! My Jewish friend was very nice; he seemed genuinely awed by all of the random things I know about his culture. I don’t know if I mentioned this to you guys before, but most of my life I have been facinated with two religions: Islam and Judaism. Through me, these two groups of people can exist in peace. Salaam alaikum. Shalom.

Anyway, while my date for the evening was very nice, I won’t be seeing him again. Honestly, I was down to hang with them to make Black men feel the same discomfort we feel when we see them double dating Becky and Heather. Of course, I failed to remember that brothers, nine times out of ten, could give a damn what we do anyway. And besides, I don’t think I have “swirl” tendencies. If my dude had been a Jewish hottie a la David Schwimmer (Ross offa Friends), we may be having a different conversation. He’s such a mensch.

That’s all I got,
Sister Toldja